Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
