Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
