I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I need to align my fucking chakras
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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