butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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