Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Found the puke drawer
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize