just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
