was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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