White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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