I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
