Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
