White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
