Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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