Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
