i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
