My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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