And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You were trust falling into bushes
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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