David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
