i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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