her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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