I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
