I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
