i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
