Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize