i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
two words: eviction party
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
