Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize