Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
