Sry I called you an 8
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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