Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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