I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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