I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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