dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
