In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
