An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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