Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
