I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i drank out of a bidet.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
we're so committed to being not committed
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize