Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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