Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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