We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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