I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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