she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
