I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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