I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
