I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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