jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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