my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
