My brain says no but my pants say off.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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