i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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