Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
