Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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