I heard we made out
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
