You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
