he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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