i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
