he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
