Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
