I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
