Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
