I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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