As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
