it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
