Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
