I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
