he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
