Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
