y did u give ur computer a hand job?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
