She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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