I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
please don't ironically join a cult
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