You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
