i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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