I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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